Where My Heart Is

I have to be completely honest. I MISS ZAMBIA. Seriously I was talking to this girl at church the other day who I just met who did camp LIFE and is going back this summer and I started crying in front of her. I was so excited she was able to go back but I was so sad that I won't be able to do the same thing. I don't really cry in public like that, but I so long to be there that I am excited that people get to go back and continue to love on these kids.

I wish right now more than anything that I could hop on a plane and go see my girls. If it weren't for the 3000 some odd dollar plane ticket I would probably book right now.

I miss the transformation of their lives.

I miss their joy.

I miss there voices.

I miss their aroma (which is big because it not always pleasant. :P)

I miss their huge smiles.

I miss them wanting to hold your hand everywhere.

More than anything, I want to feel like my life has a huge purpose. I am not saying that my life doesn't have purpose here because it definitely does, but I see more of the results there. Not sure why God did it that way, but he did.

I want to know what they have been doing, what they have been learning, what is new in their lives. I want to see their beautiful faces and hold them.

My prayers and thoughts for the past few weeks have been Zambia. Why is that? I know the Lord lays things on our hearts, but this has been so strong.

I want to go back this summer and I know that I cannot and it is really hurting me. A piece of my heart was left with these girls in Zambia and I want to join it again. I want to be in this place again. But why has the Lord laid these girls on my heart so much the past few weeks?

The only thing that I can come up is they need your prayers. They need my prayers. So I am asking you to pray for my girls. It is the rainy season right now in Zambia so pray for health and safety and that ultimately that they will come to know the Lord.

You can also help and support a child. I know I have talked about this before, but not enough. I want my girls safe and I know the Lord will protect and comfort those he loves, but he allows us to financially help as well. It is only 36 dollars a month, seriously not that big of a deal. I thought it would be hard but I hate to say it but I don't notice when it is gone. These children need help. They need food, shelter, clothing, medical assistance, love and so much more. If you go to this website https://fathersheart.legacymissions.org/
under Ambassador search you will type in my name (Becca Hines) and my girls will come up. Pray over who you want to sponsor. Then do it.

Pray for my girls. Pray for their lives. Pray for transformation in Zambia, and pray for souls to be won for the Lord.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

I have been meditating on this verse over the past few weeks and let me tell you it has not been easy. Words can hurt people so much.

They pierce the heart.

They can affect your witness.

They can affect people around you.

They can affect your personal relationship with Christ.

"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

The Lord has been refining me. He has been teaching me and he has been challenging things in my life. There have been several instances this week where I have failed. I was not lifting up people with my words. But I praise the Lord that the second I said something hurtful or wrong He convicted me of it. What is even a bigger praise I sucked up my pride and apologized.

That is huge. First of all recognizing it but then considering others better than myself and apologizing for it. This is an area in my life that the Lord will continue to work on me in my life. As my mom has told me "it is not what I say but how I say it." I don't want that to be the case.

I want to be a woman who builds up people. Not destroy. Psalm 14:1-3 says "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.2He whose walk is upright fears the LORD, but he whose ways are devious despises him.3 A fool's talk brings a rod to his back, but the lips of the wise protect them."

I want the cycle of being careless with words to stop with me. I don't want my sin to affect those that are close to me. I don't want my words to hurt others.

Then this weekend at church Allen talked about Philippians 2 and what really spoke to me was verse 14. You ready for this? "Do all things without grumbling or questioning."

Ugh... i fail again.

Do ALL things.

Not just some things.

You can't complain about headaches, you cant complain about dishes, or laundry that is piled up.

We are to not complain about ANYTHING. Now if thats not convicting I don't know what is.

I realized how much I complain. This is NOT ok. We are commanded to not complain. It is not a suggestion. There are no loopholes. You cant work around the system.

Our words are so important. What comes out of our mouth should be of the Lord. So that means no complaining, no coarse joking, we are to be edifying. We are to be listening to the Lord and patiently waiting for what He has to say.

I will continue to ask to Lord to show me and to help my words be pleasing to him!

Just some food for thought!